Ghar ki Gaand Part-6

 Ghar ki Gaand  Part-6

Ghar ki Gaand  Part-5 Aap Ne Padha Ab Aage   

Main iss wakiye ko undekha karke apne dost Nilesh ke ghar chala gaya. Waha gaya to kafi bhid bhad thi, maine Nilesh ko bahar bulaya, aur bate karne laga.
Me –“Accha Nilesh, ye Vicki ki bahan ki kya kahani hai yar. Humko kuch naya nya pata chala hai tere bare me.”
Maine tukka lagaya tha. Vicki mere se jyada Nilesh ke kareeb tha, aur Nilesh ka Vicki ke ghar aana jana bhi jyada tha, aur Nilesh ki nazre Annu par thi, ye mujhe pata tha. Isi karan Nilesh din me kam se kam do baar Vicki ke ghar ke chakkar kaat hi leta tha. Dar-asal usse Vicki nahi Annu ko dekhna hota tha, par Annu ki taraf se kitna pyaar tha ye to mujhe pata nahi tha. Aur Nilesh ki prem kahani kidhar kidhar mud rahi thi, iska mujhe kuch bhi aabhas nahi tha. Sayad kuch khichdi pak rahi thi, Jiska asar Nilesh ke chehre par saf saf dikha.

Tabhi ghar ke andar ke Nilesh ki mameri bahan Soni ne awaz lagayi –“Kya bhaiya, andar nahi aayiyega?? Humko sab samjh me aata hai. Aap bahar se hi mera samdal dekh ke jaan gaye the ki hum dono bahan yaha aaye hai, aur aap to humlog se bhagte hi chalte hai.”
Me –“Are nahi Soni, aisa hai kya???? Kab bhaaga main tumse. Batao to.”
Soni –“Bhaage nahi hai, us din sham ko bole ki main boli ki mujhe Maths bata dijiye, aur kuch tricks bhi bata dijiye. Lekin aap to bhaw khane lage. Aur uss din ke baad ghar hi nahi aaye kabhi.”

Nilesh ki Maa ko main didi bolta tha, kyuki Nilesh ki Maa mere maa ko chachi bolti thi. Lekin main aur Nilesh dost the, isliye Soni aur Moni mujhe bhaiya bolte the. Nilesh ko mujhe mama bolna chahiye tha, aur Soni-Moni mujhe chacha kahte, lekin sabhi mujhe Bhaiya hi kahte the, kyuki main unka hum-umar tha. Kabhi kabhi samjh me hi nahi aata tha ki kaun se rishte se pakdu inko, Soni ki Maa bhi kabhi kabhar mazak kar diya karti thi. Main anjaan ban kar chupchap baitha rahta tha.
Me –“are main kafi busy chal raha tha kuch dino se, isliye mauka hi nahi mila tumhare ghar aana ka. Aise bhi tere ghar to masti karne aate hai, tum fir kitabo me uljha rahi ho.”

Soni –“Bhaiya bata dijiye na thoda, bahut problem hota hai maths me, aur Nilesh bhaiya bata diye hai ki aapka trick sab khatarnak hota hai solve karne ka.”
Me –“Ha wo to hai, lekin abhi kuch jyada hi busy chal raha hoon.”
Soni –“Kaha busy chal rahe hai aap, koi mil gayi hai kya.”
Me –“Are nahi, bas ek kahani likh raha tha to samay hi nahi mila.”
Soni –“Kaun si kahani, mujhe bhi dijiye padhne ko, mujhe kahani padhne ka bahut sauk hai.”

Main Nilesh ki orr dekh raha tha, Wo ishara kar raha tha baat ko jaldi niptane ka.. Maine Soni se waada kar diya ki kal se rozz sham ko uske ghar jaunga. Aur, baat ko chalta kiya. Moni ka nature chupchap rahne wala hai, isliye usne kuch bola hi nahi. Bas sunti rahi aur fir chali gayi.
Me –“Ha Nilesh, bata na, tera aur Annu ka kya chakkar chal raha hai.”
Nilesh –“Yar kya bolu ab, ajib ka kand ho gaya hai, samjhe me nahi aa raha hai ki tumko bataye to bataye kaise.”
Me –“Are yar, aise hi best friend bolte ho ka naam ka, best friend hai to kuch bhi bol sakte ho yaar. Sunenge chupchap, tum bolo to sahi.”
Nilesh –“Accha tum force kar rahe to bol dete hai, baat ye hai ki mujhe Vicki ki bahan Annu acchi lagti hai.”

Maine uske pith par dhamakka marte hue bola. “Wah sher, sahi ja rahe ho, bolte jao, hum sun rahe hai.”
Nilesh –“Soche the ki propose kar dete hai.Aur jab propose kiye to chot ho gaya dil par.”
Me –“Abe humko to batana chahiye tha na yaar, Bina bole teer maar diye tum to, Kya reply mila.”
Nilesh –“Bole to chot ho gaya bhai. Pura badka danda ghus gaya, pura mood off”
Me –“Ha to boli kya wo to batao.”
Nilesh –“Bhai love letter diye the, letter me naam nahi likhe the, to KLPD ho gaya.”

Me –“Matlab kya dhokha hua be, jawab nahi di kya.”
Nilesh –“Nahi yaar jawab di hai, lekin mere naam se nahi, tere naam se.”
Me –“Hee, samjhe nahi, kya bol raha hai tu.”
Nilesh –“Haa yaar, usko laga ki wo love-letter tune bhejwaya hai mere through, to usne reply tere hi naam par kar diya.”
Me –“To tune bataya kyu nahi mujhe yaar, ye to bada chot ho gaya yaar. Wo letter dikha to.”
Nilesh –“Kya yaar, ab tu bhi chot dega. Wo to kar hi rahi hai, ab tum dono ka chakkar chalega uar main postman banke rah jaunga. Main to bol bhi nahi paaya ki love letter maine diya tha.”

Me –“Chal koi nahi dikre, hota hai hota hai. Pahle tu letter to de, kya likha hai padhu zara, fir batate hai Annu ko. badi udd rahi hai na.”
Nilesh ne mujhe letter diya, maine khat khol kar padhna suru kiya, khat se madamast khusboo aa rahi thi. Lagta hai kisi purane itra ka istemaal kiya gaya hai. Main us khusboo me kho sa raha tha, sayad ye sirf ‘itra’ ki khusboo nahi thi, Annu ka pyar bhi bhara tha iss khar main. Dil to mera bhi jor se dhadakne laga, ki kahi mujhe pyar na ho jaye Annu se. Maine jatke se wo letter Nilesh ke haatho me fek diya.
Aur akbaka kar bola –“Are yar, nahi padhta mujhe koi letter wetter. Kya tum bhi, kuch bhi bakwas karte ho yar. Tum dono ke bich me main kaha se aaa gaya. Mujhe nahi sun na iss bare me kuch, aur naa hi kuch solve karna hai.” Mere chehre par hawaiiyaan udi hui thi, Nilesh ko ye samjhte der na laga ki kya hua hai.

Nilesh –“Dost kaboo rakho khud par, samjh sakta hoon, itni khubsoorat ladki agar khud pyar ka izhar kare to kambakht kaun hosh me rah payega. Us par ye ‘itra’ ki ruhaani khusboo. Itna kafi hai ek py

Me –“Karna padta hai dost, tere liye to jaan bhi hazir hai Annu kya chiz hai. Par waada kar ki tu use khush rakhega.”
Nilesh –“Yaar main tera ye karz kabhi nahi bhulunga. Kya insaan hai yaaar tu, koi itni acchi maal ko hath se kaise jaane de sakta hai.”
Me –“Na beta na, haath se main agar jaane diya to tujhe kya ghanta milega. Wo kisi aur ke jaal me fas jayegi. Yaa nahi to Vicki chod dega usko. Bahanchod saala.”
Nilesh –“abe tu Annu ke bare main aisa mat bol yar.”
Me –“Are lale di jaan, main to check kar raha tha ki pyar bhi hai thoda thoda, ya sirf jismani garmi nikalni hai tujhe.”

Nilesh –“Main sach much me Annu se pyar karta hoon, sach tere jagah koi aur hota to kabhi nahi mana karta Annu ko. Mujhe pata hai ye sab tune mere liye kiya hai.”
Me –“Koi nahi bande, jab waqt aayega to mang lenge kuch iske badle.”
Nilesh –“Jo bhi mangna ho mang lena dost, mana nahi karunga, bas meri gand mat mang lena chutiye.”

Aur dono has pade. Ab Nilesh ka dil halka ho gaya tha, par mere hath se ek komal kali nikal gayi thi na. Gand maraye dosti, tel lene jaye ye maa ka lauda Nilesh. Mauka mile to iski maa-bahan ko bhi naa chhodu main. Ye to mujhse meri khurak chhin raha hai. Laude da puttar....

Main iss wakiye ko undekha karke apne dost Nilesh ke ghar chala gaya. Waha gaya to kafi bhid bhad thi, maine Nilesh ko bahar bulaya, aur bate karne laga.
Me –“Accha Nilesh, ye Vicki ki bahan ki kya kahani hai yar. Humko kuch naya nya pata chala hai tere bare me.”
Maine tukka lagaya tha. Vicki mere se jyada Nilesh ke kareeb tha, aur Nilesh ka Vicki ke ghar aana jana bhi jyada tha, aur Nilesh ki nazre Annu par thi, ye mujhe pata tha. Isi karan Nilesh din me kam se kam do baar Vicki ke ghar ke chakkar kaat hi leta tha. Dar-asal usse Vicki nahi Annu ko dekhna hota tha, par Annu ki taraf se kitna pyaar tha ye to mujhe pata nahi tha. Aur Nilesh ki prem kahani kidhar kidhar mud rahi thi, iska mujhe kuch bhi aabhas nahi tha. Sayad kuch khichdi pak rahi thi, Jiska asar Nilesh ke chehre par saf saf dikha.

Tabhi ghar ke andar ke Nilesh ki mameri bahan Soni ne awaz lagayi –“Kya bhaiya, andar nahi aayiyega?? Humko sab samjh me aata hai. Aap bahar se hi mera samdal dekh ke jaan gaye the ki hum dono bahan yaha aaye hai, aur aap to humlog se bhagte hi chalte hai.”
Me –“Are nahi Soni, aisa hai kya???? Kab bhaaga main tumse. Batao to.”
Soni –“Bhaage nahi hai, us din sham ko bole ki main boli ki mujhe Maths bata dijiye, aur kuch tricks bhi bata dijiye. Lekin aap to bhaw khane lage. Aur uss din ke baad ghar hi nahi aaye kabhi.”

Nilesh ki Maa ko main didi bolta tha, kyuki Nilesh ki Maa mere maa ko chachi bolti thi. Lekin main aur Nilesh dost the, isliye Soni aur Moni mujhe bhaiya bolte the. Nilesh ko mujhe mama bolna chahiye tha, aur Soni-Moni mujhe chacha kahte, lekin sabhi mujhe Bhaiya hi kahte the, kyuki main unka hum-umar tha. Kabhi kabhi samjh me hi nahi aata tha ki kaun se rishte se pakdu inko, Soni ki Maa bhi kabhi kabhar mazak kar diya karti thi. Main anjaan ban kar chupchap baitha rahta tha.
Me –“are main kafi busy chal raha tha kuch dino se, isliye mauka hi nahi mila tumhare ghar aana ka. Aise bhi tere ghar to masti karne aate hai, tum fir kitabo me uljha rahi ho.”

Soni –“Bhaiya bata dijiye na thoda, bahut problem hota hai maths me, aur Nilesh bhaiya bata diye hai ki aapka trick sab khatarnak hota hai solve karne ka.”
Me –“Ha wo to hai, lekin abhi kuch jyada hi busy chal raha hoon.”
Soni –“Kaha busy chal rahe hai aap, koi mil gayi hai kya.”
Me –“Are nahi, bas ek kahani likh raha tha to samay hi nahi mila.”
Soni –“Kaun si kahani, mujhe bhi dijiye padhne ko, mujhe kahani padhne ka bahut sauk hai.”

Main Nilesh ki orr dekh raha tha, Wo ishara kar raha tha baat ko jaldi niptane ka.. Maine Soni se waada kar diya ki kal se rozz sham ko uske ghar jaunga. Aur, baat ko chalta kiya. Moni ka nature chupchap rahne wala hai, isliye usne kuch bola hi nahi. Bas sunti rahi aur fir chali gayi.
Me –“Ha Nilesh, bata na, tera aur Annu ka kya chakkar chal raha hai.”
Nilesh –“Yar kya bolu ab, ajib ka kand ho gaya hai, samjhe me nahi aa raha hai ki tumko bataye to bataye kaise.”
Me –“Are yar, aise hi best friend bolte ho ka naam ka, best friend hai to kuch bhi bol sakte ho yaar. Sunenge chupchap, tum bolo to sahi.”
Nilesh –“Accha tum force kar rahe to bol dete hai, baat ye hai ki mujhe Vicki ki bahan Annu acchi lagti hai.”
Maine uske pith par dhamakka marte hue bola. “Wah sher, sahi ja rahe ho, bolte jao, hum sun rahe hai.”
Nilesh –“Soche the ki propose kar dete hai.Aur jab propose kiye to chot ho gaya dil par.”
Me –“Abe humko to batana chahiye tha na yaar, Bina bole teer maar diye tum to, Kya reply mila.”
Nilesh –“Bole to chot ho gaya bhai. Pura badka danda ghus gaya, pura mood off”
Me –“Ha to boli kya wo to batao.”
Nilesh –“Bhai love letter diye the, letter me naam nahi likhe the, to KLPD ho gaya.”

Me –“Matlab kya dhokha hua be, jawab nahi di kya.”
Nilesh –“Nahi yaar jawab di hai, lekin mere naam se nahi, tere naam se.”
Me –“Hee, samjhe nahi, kya bol raha hai tu.”
Nilesh –“Haa yaar, usko laga ki wo love-letter tune bhejwaya hai mere through, to usne reply tere hi naam par kar diya.”
Me –“To tune bataya kyu nahi mujhe yaar, ye to bada chot ho gaya yaar. Wo letter dikha to.”
Nilesh –“Kya yaar, ab tu bhi chot dega. Wo to kar hi rahi hai, ab tum dono ka chakkar chalega uar main postman banke rah jaunga. Main to bol bhi nahi paaya ki love letter maine diya tha.”

Me –“Chal koi nahi dikre, hota hai hota hai. Pahle tu letter to de, kya likha hai padhu zara, fir batate hai Annu ko. badi udd rahi hai na.”
Nilesh ne mujhe letter diya, maine khat khol kar padhna suru kiya, khat se madamast khusboo aa rahi thi. Lagta hai kisi purane itra ka istemaal kiya gaya hai. Main us khusboo me kho sa raha tha, sayad ye sirf ‘itra’ ki khusboo nahi thi, Annu ka pyar bhi bhara tha iss khar main. Dil to mera bhi jor se dhadakne laga, ki kahi mujhe pyar na ho jaye Annu se. Maine jatke se wo letter Nilesh ke haatho me fek diya.
Aur akbaka kar bola –“Are yar, nahi padhta mujhe koi letter wetter. Kya tum bhi, kuch bhi bakwas karte ho yar. Tum dono ke bich me main kaha se aaa gaya. Mujhe nahi sun na iss bare me kuch, aur naa hi kuch solve karna hai.” Mere chehre par hawaiiyaan udi hui thi, Nilesh ko ye samjhte der na laga ki kya hua hai.

Nilesh –“Dost kaboo rakho khud par, samjh sakta hoon, itni khubsoorat ladki agar khud pyar ka izhar kare to kambakht kaun hosh me rah payega. Us par ye ‘itra’ ki ruhaani khusboo. Itna kafi hai ek pyar ke pyaase dil ko madhosh karne ke liye. Saurav dekh yar, wo tumhe kitna pyar karti hai ye to nahi pata, lekin main Annu se bahut pyar karta hoon. Uske bina rah nahi sakta, isliye 4 din tak ye baat tujhe chah kar bhi bata nahi paaya.”

Itna kah kar Nilesh ke aankho me aansu bhar aaye, wo aur kuch kah nahi paaya. Maine uske kande par hath rakha aur use dilasa dilaya –“Honda we kake, Honda we. Isaaq gali vich lakho kaante hondiya, kuch paira noo lahoo-luhaan kar ditte hai, aur kuch lahoo-luhaan ho jaate hai. Mainu koi love sove nahi hai us kudii naal, wo to tere hi hai mundiye. Apni to baabi lage si wo. Hor, baabi maa samaan hondi hai kake. Je main bich me kado nii aawanga, tee thara pyaar thare baho vich hongi.”
Nilesh mujhe ghur ghur kar dekhta rah gaya, Ye aascharya use kis baat baat par ho rahi thi main samjah na saka. Achnak wo chup ho gaya aur vismit hokar bola –“Abe tu, punjabi kabse bolne laga, aur sikhi kab be tune. Gajab kar diya yar. Shock de dete ho bhai tum to.”

Me –“Karna padta hai dost, tere liye to jaan bhi hazir hai Annu kya chiz hai. Par waada kar ki tu use khush rakhega.”
Nilesh –“Yaar main tera ye karz kabhi nahi bhulunga. Kya insaan hai yaaar tu, koi itni acchi maal ko hath se kaise jaane de sakta hai.”
Me –“Na beta na, haath se main agar jaane diya to tujhe kya ghanta milega. Wo kisi aur ke jaal me fas jayegi. Yaa nahi to Vicki chod dega usko. Bahanchod saala.”
Nilesh –“abe tu Annu ke bare main aisa mat bol yar.”
Me –“Are lale di jaan, main to check kar raha tha ki pyar bhi hai thoda thoda, ya sirf jismani garmi nikalni hai tujhe.”

Nilesh –“Main sach much me Annu se pyar karta hoon, sach tere jagah koi aur hota to kabhi nahi mana karta Annu ko. Mujhe pata hai ye sab tune mere liye kiya hai.”
Me –“Koi nahi bande, jab waqt aayega to mang lenge kuch iske badle.”
Nilesh –“Jo bhi mangna ho mang lena dost, mana nahi karunga, bas meri gand mat mang lena chutiye.”

Aur dono has pade. Ab Nilesh ka dil halka ho gaya tha, par mere hath se ek komal kali nikal gayi thi na. Gand maraye dosti, tel lene jaye ye maa ka lauda Nilesh. Mauka mile to iski maa-bahan ko bhi naa chhodu main. Ye to mujhse meri khurak chhin raha hai. Laude da puttar....

Baaki Agale part me - Ghar ki Gaand Part-7