Ghar ki Gaand Part-18

 Ghar ki Gaand  Part-18

Ghar ki Gaand  Part-17 AapNe Padha Ab Aage     

Maa ke thappad ne sapne se yatharth me laakar khada kar diya tha mujhe. Sab kuch sapne ke jaisa chal raha tha, ki achanak do thappad ne mere andar ke daar ko jaga diya tha. Kuch hi der me Papa aane wale honge.

Aur, kahi Maa ne Papa ko bata diya to main to gaya kaam se. Upar se Pammi Didi ki gand bhi fat gayi, tabiyat kahi aur bigdi to Papa ko pata na chal jaye. Kisi tarah se mujhe saari baato ko yahi dabana hoga. Lekin main kar bhi kya sakta hoon?

Kis baat par Maa gussa hai, ye to pata hi nahi hai mujhe. Aur, Priya jaha ek orr apni gand dikha kar hari jhandi dikha rahi thi, wahi dusri orr meri pitai se khus ho rahi thi, aakhir chahti kya hai wo. Jo bhi chahte ho wo, uska pata yaha se to chalne se raha. Mujhe hi pahal karni hogi fir se. Lekin suruat karu bhi to kaise?

Abhi to mujhe kamre se bahar nikalne se bhi daar lag raha hai. Aur, kisse suruat karoon. Pakka Pammi Didi bhi ab to gussa ho gayi hongi. Baar baar unki tabiyat bigaad deta hoon main. Iss baar to mere niche aane se rahi wo.

Maa bhi ab kuch karne nahi degi. Aur, Priya to kis baat par naaraz thi, wo hi jaane. Thodi der pahle to has-has kar baat kar rahi thi. Achanak kya ho gaya use pata nahi? Lekin kisi na kisi tarah to suruat karni hi padegi. Aur, mamle ko shant karna padega. Papa ke aane ke baad, shayad main kuch kar bhi naa pau. Mujhe abhi turant Maa se to baat karni hi padegi. Chahe fir se pitai hi kyu na ho.

Mujhe thodi himmat to dikhani hi padegi, nahi to kuch bhi ho sakta hai. Maine antim niray liya, aur, pahle Priya se baat karne ki sochi. Aankhe meri ab bhi band hi thi. Aisa mahsoos ho raha tha, ki main so jau. Aur, fir wapas kabhi na aau iss vartmaan me.

Kuch chhan pahle so sundar swarg sa prateet ho raha tha, achanak ekk nark me tabdil ho gaya tha. Gahri soch se meri aankhe khul hi nahi pa rahi thi. Chah kar bhi main itni himmat nahi juta paa raha tha, ki jakar Priya se baat karu. Kaise suru karu ab baat?

Main lete lete inhi baato me khoya tha. Aur, sham ke 5 baj chuke the. Achanak mujhe aisa aabhash hua hi, koi mujhe dekh raha hai. Maine jhat se aankhe kholi aur, darwaje ki orr dekha. Darwaja to band tha, maine khidki ki orr nazar ghumayi par, waha bhi koi na tha.

Achanak aisa kyu laga mujhe ki koi mujhe dekh raha hai. Ho na ho, koi to tha. Main jaldi ke bistar se uth khada hua, aur, darwaje ki orr lapka. Jhat se darwaja khol kar h

Kitchen me dekhta hoon ki Maa kya kar rahi hai. Aur, fir mauka dekh kar maafi bhi mang lunga. Aur, kisi tarah baat ko rafa-dafa kar dunga. Main halke paav se hall se gujra, aur baramade aur hall ke bich ke darwaje ke paas pahucha. Kitchen ki orr dekha to, Maa kuch kaam me vayast thi.

Mere waha hone ka Maa ko pata nahi chala tha abhi tak. Meri paav khud-b-khud pichhe hatt gaye. Maa ke saamne jane ki himmat hi juta paya main. Khud se bas itna sawaal kar raha tha ki aisa karne se kaise chalega? Kuch bhi karke baat to karni hi padegi.

Tabhi mere dimaag me ekk bijli si koundhi. Maine hall ke bathroom ki orr nazar ghumaya. Bathroom ka darwaja to band tha. Lekin, hall ke bathroom ka darwaja to band nahi hota pura kabhi, thoda ya thoda khula hi hota hai. Pura band hone ka matlab hai ki koi bathroom me hai. Lekin, aisa kaise ho sakta hai. Maa kitchen me hai, Priya aur Didi ka kamra band hai. To fir kaun hoga ??

Main bathroom ki orr badha. Halke halke kadmo se darwaje ke paas pahucha, aur bade ki naram haatho se darwaje ko dhakka diya. Bathroom ka darwaja andar se band tha, matlab, koi tha bathroom me. Isliye, mujhe aisa laga tha ki koi khidki se mujhe dekh raha hai. Aur, jab main darwaje ki orr badha to wo bathroom me chhup gaya. Kaun hoga bathroom me? Maine darwaje par dastak di. Andar se koi awaaz na aayi.

Main –“Kaun hai andar?” Andar se Priya ne awaaz diya.
Priya –“Kya hai? Tum yaha iss bathroom me kyu aaye ho. Tere kamre me to bathroom hai na.”
Main –“Bathroom to tere kamre me bhi hai, lekin tu hall ke bathroom me?”
Priya –“Wo Didi hai uss bathroom me, isliye.”
Main –“Ok, koi baat nahi.”
Priya –“Kyu, kya hua, Bathroom me bhi chain nahi hai. Tumko kya kaam aa pada. Mummy ….”

Priya ne bathroom ke andar se hi awaaz lagayi. Priya ki awaaz sun kar Maa bhaag kar hall me aayi. Maa to pahle se hi gusse me thi, pata nahi, kya samajh rahi hogi. Maine Maa ki orr dekha. Maa gusse se aag-bagula ho uthi thi. Maine stithi ko sambhalte hue kaha.

Main –“Maa, aisi koi baat nahi hai, jo tum soch rahi ho. Main to bas aise hi puchh raha tha. Mujhe laga jab Didi ka darwaja band hai to bathroom me kaun hoga.”
Maa ne Didi ke darwaja ko dhakka diya. Darwaja khul gaya tha. Matlab darwaja sirf sataya hua tha, andar se band nahi tha. Maa ne Didi ke kamre me jhanka, to waha koi bhi nahi tha.

Maa –“Pammi ka darwaja to khula hua hai, aur, kamre me koi bhi nahi hai.”
Main –“Haa wo, Didi bathroom gayi hai apne kamre me. Isliye Priya iss bathroom me aayi hogi. Mujhe pata nahi tha, aur, darwaje ko dekh kar laga ki darwaja band hoga to bathroom me kaun hoga.”

Maa –“Tujhe aaj kal bahut kuch lagne laga hai. Abhi thodi der pahle jo hua hai, wo bhul gaya kya tu? Aur, tu kamre se bahar aaya to choro ke jaise kyu aaya?”
Main –“Nahi, mujhe laga ki khidki par koi tha. Isliye maine jaldi se bahar aakar dekha. Par koi bhi nahi tha.”
Maa –“Pagal ho gaye ho kya? Do thappad khakar hil gaya hai tumhara dimaag lagta hai.”

Bathroom ke andar se Priya ke hasne ki awaaz aayi. Hi hi hi. Mujhe Priya par gussa aa raha tha. Par, main chup hi raha. Mauke ki nazakat hi aisi thi ki chup rahna hi uchit tha. Maine Maa ki baat ka bhi koi uttar nahi diya. Socha ki Maa se dophar ki baat par maafi maang loon. Lekin, Maa ki baato ke andaaz se aisa to nahi lagta ki wo mujhe maaf karne wali hai. Kam-s-kam abhi to bilkul hi nahi. Bekar me, aisi koi baat karne ka fayda bhi nahi hai. Ulta aur dant padegi. Main soch me dub gaya wahi khade khade.

Maa –“Kya? Kya sochne laga ab. Chal ja apne kamre me. Bahar mat aana, jab tak main na kahoon.”
Maa ki baate mujhe sunai to de rahi thi, lekin dimaag kaam nahi kar raha tha. Main soch me kuch gahre hi dub gaya tha. Thappado ka bada gahra asar hua tha mere dimaag par.

Maa –“Kya? Sunai nahi de raha hai kya tujhe?? Bathroom ke bahar khade hokar hawaaldaari kar raha hai kya?? Jao apne kamre me.”
Maa ki dant se main sakpaka sa gaya. Aur, haa me gardan hilate hue, apne kamre ki orr bhaaga.

Main apne kamre ke darwaje ki paas pahucha hi tha, ki achanak kano me Pammi Didi ki awaaz aayi.
Pammi Didi –“Kya hua Maa, kyu shor macha rahe ho ab tum log??”
Awaaz didi ke kamre ki orr se nahi aayi thi. Jis disha se awaaz aayi thi, usne mujhe chuanka diya. Main jhat se pichhe palta, to dekha ki Pammi Didi aankhe malte hue guest room se bahaar nikal rahi thi. Main hadbada gaya, aur, mujhe ye samjhte der na lagi ki, Didi to apne kamre me thi hi nahi. Fir, Priya h

Priya ne bola tha ki Didi uske bathroom me hai. Lekin, Didi to yaha ghest room se nikal rahi hai. Aur, use dekh kar aisa lag raha tha, ki mano 2-3 ghante se so rahi ho. Lekin, Pammi Didi guest room me kyu so rahi thi??

Dher saare sawaal ek sath mere manaspalat par ankit ho uthe. Mera chhota sa mastisq itne saare sawaalo ka ek sath aanklan nahi kar pa raha tha(My Brain have only 64MB RAM & Very old processor). Naa chahte hue bhi mere muh se sahsa sawaalo ki jhadi fut padi.

Main –“Didi, aap guest room me so rahi thi, lekin Priya ne bola ki aap uss bathroom me hai. Isliye wo hall ke bathroom me aayi thi. Lekis, aap guestroom me kyu so rahi thi?? Apne kamre me bhi so sakti thi.”
Pammi Didi –“Kuch nahi aise hi. Wo Priya gaana sun rahi thi uchi awaaz me, isliye main guestroom me aakar so gayi thi. Par, Priya hall ke bathroom me kyu?”
Main –“Haa, main bhi hairaan hoon is baat par.”
Maa –“Achha thik hai, thik hai. Main dekhti hoon, kya baat hai. Tu apne kamre me jaa.”

Bathroom ke andar Priya ki haalat kharab ho rahi thi, ki wo ab kya jawaab degi. Main ab aaswast ho chuka tha ki, mere khidki par koi aur nahi Priya hi thi. Aur, jaise hi main bistar se utha, aur darwaja ki orr badha, itne me wo bathroom me chhup gayi. Mauke ki nazakat ho dekhte hue, nafasat ke sath main apne kamre ki orr chal pada.

Abhi koi aur himakat karne ka anzaam to mere khilaaf hi hota. Isliye apne 64MB brain par jyada jor nahi daalte hue maine Maa ki baat maan li, aur, apne kamre me band hona hi uchit samjha. Kamre me jaakar main darwaja band karne ke liye pichhe muda, to meri nazre Pammi Didi se takra gayi.

Unki aankho me kuch ajib si uljhan jhalak rahi thi. Mano kuch kahna chahti thi mujhse. Lekin, sabse mauzoodgi ne unhe labh sil diye the. Jo bhi ho, Didi se abhi aur koi gooftagoo hona to sambhav hi nahi tha. Mauka ki talaash karni hogi.

Ya yun kahe ki intezaar karni hogi. Pammi Didi ki taraf main aur kadam nahi badha sakta tha. Har baar Pammi Didi ko mujhse chot hi mila tha, ab mujhe bhi ye aasha nahi thi ki wo mujhse baat karegi. Maine darwaja band kiya, aur apne bistar par dham se baith gaya.

Bistar par baithte hi khayal aaya ki, Pammi Didi ki baato me gusse ka koi bhaav nahi tha. To kya iska matlab Didi mujhse gussa nahi hai? Main uthkar apne khidki ke pas aa gaya. Aur chhup kar bahar jhakte hue Maa aur Didi ki baat sunne laga.
Maa –“Pammi Beta, tu guestroom me kab gayi. Mujhe pata bhi nahi chala. Aur, wo kamra to kai din se saaf bhi nahi hua hai. Bolti to safai bhi ho jati isi bahane. Kya hua, tabiyat thik nahi lag rahi hai teri.”
Pammi Didi –“Kuch nahi, wo Priya gaana sun rahi thi to main guestroom me jakar so gayi thi. Tabiyat thik hai ab meri. Jor ki bhookh lagi hai Maa, kuch nasta banayi ho kya?”

Maa –“Jaa, jaldi se hath muh dho le. Main snacks me kuch bana deti hoon.”
Maa ne kitchen ki orr wapis palat kar kaha. Maa ne kitchen me wapas jaate jaate Priya ko bhi kuch bol rakha.
Maa –“Priya, tu bhi jaldi se aa ja table par.”
Priya –“hmm Mummy.”
Priya ki mano ab sans me sans aayi ho. Priya ka jhoot saaf saaf sabke saamne aa chuka tha. Fir bhi usko Maa ne kuch nahi bola, aur naa hi Didi ne koi sawaal kiye. Kahi Maa ne hi to Priya ko mujh par najar rakhne ko to nahi bola hai. Jo bhi ho lekin wo bach gayi. Mauka milte hi Priya se puchhna hoga ki kya kar rahi thi wo mere khidki par. Tab tak ke liye chup chap rahne me hi bhalai hai.

Didi apne kamre ke andar gayi. Aur, fresh hokar dining table par aa gayi. Priya bhi table par aa chuki thi. Mummy ne kuch snacks banaya tha. Shayad Maa ne sooji ka halwa banaya hai snacks me. Halwe ki khusboo mujhe mere kamre ke andar se hi aa rahi hai. Maa ke hath ki bani halwe ki baat hi kuch aur hoti hai. Wo khusboo naako me samate hi tivra chhuda (tezz bhookh) jag uthti hai. Pet me chuhe daudne lagte hai.

Parantu, Maa ne mujhe saaf nirdesh diya tha ki, jab tab Maa na bole main kamre se naa niklu. Sabhi mujh par gussa jata rahe the. Par, kya galti sirf ek meri hi hai. Maine to choda Didi aur Maa ko, lekin unhone bhi to koi pratikaar nahi kiya tha. Gand utha utha ke chude dono, aur bharpur manoranjan diya apni booriya aur bhooriya ko. Ab jab kaam nikal gaya hai, to mujhe doodh me pade chiti (ANT) ke jaise nikalkar jhatak dena chahti hai sab.

A

Pakka Priya ne bhi apne kisi dost se apni boor ka sauda kar rakha hoga. Isliye to mujhe ghaas bhi nahi daal rahi hai. Priya ki sachhai sirf Pammi Didi ko hi pata hogi. Pammi Didi ke gore badan ko main aise hi hath se jaane nahi de sakta hoon. Koi na koi upay to lagana hi hoga. Priya – Pammi Didi – Maa teeno ke man me nischay hi dher saare sawalo ka toofan chal raha hoga. Lekin, mujhe nahi lagta ki aapas me kisi ne ek dusre se koi baat ki hai. Sabhi apne apne soch me hi mujhe kasoorwar thahra chuke hai. Ab aise me sabse ek sath baat karna to madhumakkhi ke chhate me hath daalne ke barabar hai. Ek saath teeno ke sawaalo ki jhadi baras padegi mujh par. Aur, main kya kya jawaab dunga. Ek ek karke suljhana hoga sabko.

Suruat to Priya se karne ki soch raha tha main, lekin sabse pahle Pammi Didi se mil kar ye nischit karna hoga ki uske aur Priya ke bich kya chal raha hai? Aur unhone iss visay me kitni charcha ki hai. Uske baad hi main apne yojna ki rooprekha nirdharit kar sakta hoon. Parantu, Didi ko akele pakda kaise jaye.

Didi ki jordar chudai se jo unki tabiyat bigdi thi, uske baad to sabne pahli galti maankar maaf kar diya tha mujhe. Lekin, fir se vasna ke toofan me bahkar jo galti abhi ki hai, uske baad to muskil hai ki koi mujhe Didi ke paas akele chhodega. Mujhe kisi tarah Didi ko hi kuch ishara karna hoga, lekin usse pahle mujhe aaswast hona padega ki Didi mujhse gussa to nahi hai.

Upar se yeh Halwe ki khusboo ne to mere bhookh ko aur badha diya hai. Bhookh se tadapne wali sithti me hoon main. Lekin, darwaja nahi khol sakta. Aur, Maa ko itna bhi khayal nahi hai ki mujhe bhi bhookh lagi hogi. Mere khidki ke kinare chhup kar h

Aur, wapas kitchen me gayi. 2 minute ke andar hi Maa wapas aayi. Maa ke ek hath me glass ki katoriyan (BOWLs) thi, aur ek hath me chammache (SPOONs). Maa ne teen katoriyo me halwa nikal kar serve kiya, aur, Didi aur Priya ki orr ek ek bowl badha diya. Aur, khud Didi ki bagalwali kursi par baithte hue ek bowl apne saamne rakha. Aur, suru karne ka ishara kiya Didi aur Priya ko.

Lekin, Pammi Didi ne khana suru nahi kiya. Aur, naa hi Priya ne. Maa dono ki orr bari bari dekh rahi thi.
Maa –“Kya hua, Chalo suru karo.”
Priya ne ek chammch halwa utha kar apne muh me rakha. Lekin, Didi ab bhi chupchap thi. Kuch soch kar Didi Maa se boli.
Didi –“Maa, Sourav ko bhi bhookh lagi hogi. Usko bhi bula lete hai na.”
Maa –“Ha bhookh to lagi hogi, lekin use yaha bulane ki koi jarurat nahi hai. Kamre me hi de aati hoon use.”
Maa ne ek katori me mere liye halwa nikala. Aur, mere kamre ki orr mudi. Itne me Priya uth kar Maa ke hatho se bowl le li.
Priya –“Aap baitho yaha. Main pahucha deti hoon na.”

Priya ne mere darwaja khatkhataya. Mujhe bhi tezz bhookh lagi thi, maine jhat se darwaja khola. Priya andar aayi, aur mere bistar ke kone me katori rakh kar wapas jane ke liye palti.
Main –“Priya, mujhe pata hai ki mere khidki par tum hi thi. Aur, jaise hi maine darwaja khola, tum bathroom me chhup gayi thi.”
Priya ne dhire se kaha –“Wo sab baate baad me karenge, abhi aap kha lo, bhookh to lagi hi hogi aapko bhi.”
Main –“Lekin, tum mere kamre me jhak kyu rahi thi. Kahi tumhe Maa ne to aisa karne ko nahi kaha tha na.”
Priya –“Mujhe kisi ne kuch nahi kaha hai. Main to bas apni marji se aayi thi.”
Main –“Lekin, Priya ….”
Priya ne bich me hi meri baat kat te hue kaha –“Bas, abhi aur kuch mat boliye. Main jaati hoon, nahi to Mummy chillane lagegi.”
Main –“Lekin,…. lekin …. Lekin …..”

Main lekin, lekin karta rah gaya. Aur Priya kamre se nikal kar chali gayi. Maine socha sabse maafi maangne ka isse achha mauka nahi milega. Fir Papa ke aane ke baad to koi chance hi nahi hai, Maa se akele me kuch bolne ka. Waqt sahi hai, mujhe iska pura fayda uthana chahiye.

Maine apne bistar se halwe ki katori uthayi. Aur, dhire dhire h

Maine baat suru karte hue bola –“Maa, galti ho gayi mujhse. Mujhe aisa nahi karna chahiye tha. Ab aisa kabhi nahi hoga. Maaf kar do mujhe.”
Maa –“Kal raat bhi tumne Pammi ke sath jo kuch kiya, usse uski tabiyat bigad gayi thi. Aur, subah meri gand marne ke baad bhi tumhara jee nahi bhara. Fir se dophar me tumne Pammi ke sath jabardasti ki. Ye thik nahi kiya tumne.”
Main –“Maa, main bahak gaya tha. Mujhe hosh hi nahi tha ki main kya kar raha hoon, warna main aapke saath jabardasti karne ki himmat bhi nahi kar sakta.”

Maa, Didi, Main aur Priya ab aapas me puri tarah se khul chuke the. Kapde ka jo ek parda tha, wo to uth chuka tha. Ab na to Maa ko sharm aa rahi thi aise baatein karne me, naa hi hum teeno bhai bahan me se kisi ko koi aascharya ho raha tha.
Maa –“Jo bhi ho lekin, tumne galat kadam uthaya tha. Mere tak to baat thik thi, mujhe tumhare Papa ke bade aur mote land se chudne ki aadat hai, lekin Pammi ki seal to abhi turant hi khuli hai. Pratham sambhog ke chot abhi tak bhare bhi nahi the, ki usne tumhara khayal karte hue apni gand bhi tumse chudwaya. Lekin, tumhe Pammi ka koi khayal nahi hai. Tum mere nahi Pammi ke gunaahgar ho. Pammi se maafi mango, shayad wo tumhe maaf kar sake.”

Main apne jagah se uth kar Pammi Didi ke bagal me jaakar khada ho gaya. Aur Didi se maafi mangi.
Main –“Pammi Didi, maaf kar do mujhe. Aainde main aapko hath bhi nahi lagaunga.”
Didi –“Main tumse gussa nahi hoon. Tumne jo kiya waise ho sakta hai. Lekin khud par kaboo rakhte hue apne saathi ko mazaa dena aur mazaa lena hi safal sambhog ka niyam hai. Tumhe abhi bahut kuuch sikhne ki jarurat hai. Abhi to tumne sirf ekk paath hi padha hai. Kaafi kuch sikhne ko baakihai abhi tumhe. Main tumse gussa hoon hi nahi. Lekin, ab se khayal rakhna.”
Main –“Didi, thank you. Ab main kabhi aapko chot nahi pahuchaunga.”
Didi –“Chalo koi baat nahi. Ab yaha baitho aur halwa kha lo. Thandi ho jayegi nahi to.”
Priya –“Aur, mujhse maafi nahi mangoge bhaiya.”

Maa –“Tujhse kis baat ki maafi. Tum Saurav se chhoti ho. Aur, tumhare saamne ye sab nahi hona chahiye tha. Lekin, jo ho chuka hai so ho chuka hai. Ab aisa kuch nahi hona chahiye.”
Main Maa ke bagalwali kursi par jaakar baith gaya. Aur, chupchap halwe ka mazaa lene laga.
Main –“Maa, halwa to bahut jaykedaar bana hai. Saath me kuch namkeen hota to aur maza aata.”
Priya –“To usme kya hai, main abhi mixture laati hoon.”

Priya uth kar kitchen me chali gayi. Aur, ek chinaware plate me mixture lekar aayi. Aur, sabke bich me table par rakh di. Hum sabne sath me halwe ka mazaa liye. Saath me namkeen ka bhi. Fir sabhi apne apne kamre me chale gaye. Didi aur Priya bhi apne kamre me chale gaye. Maa ne saari kotere aur plates uthaye. Aur, kitchen me chali gayi. Bahut der ho chuki thi. Ab tak to Papa aa jaate hai. Par aaj pata nahi kyu der ho rahi thi. Shayad traffic me faas gaye honge.

Chalo kisi tarah to maine Maa aur Didi se maafi to mang li. Lekin, ab bhi dher saari baate saaf nahi hui hai. Priya se bhi khul kar baat karni padegi. Main apni yojna banane me jut gaya. Aur, ab sab kuch samanya ho chuka tha.

Kahani Khtam